Monday, January 4, 2010


"We can't change. We can either hide or emerge." I saw that quote the other day. It goes along with a thought/rumination of late. We try to control EVERYTHING in our lives. Why. Because we are afraid of dying. Afraid of death. But it is only with our limited learned thinking that we have LEARNED to be afraid of death. I still am. (really, we are afraid of who we really are. We have forgotten that this human thing is just the tip of the iceberg) Because I can't seem to see beyond the veil. Can't seem to really KNOW that I am in this world but not of it. But I see now that it is because I am trying so darned hard to see beyond the veil. Reading, reading, reading. Trying to GET IT ALL NOW. Trying to control my life by researching...all the while avoiding being in it. Now. I see this is like a forgotten muscle that I must exercise every day to get back in shape. Because I relax, remember, and emerge one moment, then forget the next. It's quite an irony for me to be trying so hard to learn not to try so hard.When really all I am doing is vacillating between hiding and emerging. That's all there is. I have no real control over anything except the way I feel. Trying to control situations is hiding. I am getting there more often that I used to. The way I feel is becoming more and more important, and more and more simple. I feel "off" therefore I am not in alignment. I look at why I feel off? It is ALWAYS, ALWAYS because I am focusing away from my Self. We are always one thought away from inner peace and alignment. That's it. Hide or emerge. Control or let go. Focus out or focus withIN. Choose a better thought in this moment. Choose a better thought in this moment, now choose a better thought in this moment. Feel better now. That's it. Keep the focus on yourself. It is our Selves we are hiding from. Our Self is always there, joyously perfect and whole. We hide from it by our thought choices. We can emerge in this life, or not. No biggie. Our Self won't change, it will just keep on flowing to the next adventure.
..after I wrote this I went to one of my favorite websites and this says it so much better than me!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


...Been on quite a quest to find my Self. Realized it was ME who left IT. Forgot why I came here. Got caught up in the outside world of shoulds and shouldn'ts and shame and guilt. The sad habit of comparison. Each day as I remember who I am, I find pieces of me that I didn't even know I had the right to claim. I am delighting in the concept that I am a sovereign being, visiting this planet to enjoy all it offers. Nothing and nobody outside of myself has the power to affect who I am and how I feel, it is all a choice I make. Just like exercising a muscle, I can exercise this remembrance, this choice of sovereignty, until it is as natural as breathing. There is no good and bad, just experience and remembrance. Like this snowflake- it contains all of the knowledge of the universe within it. It doesn't question or doubt itself or wonder what the other snow flakes are thinking of it. It just is. I fancied the idea of finally letting go of the banks of the river of life and flowing with it. Now I see that not only am I the let-er go-er, I am the river, AND the banks. Then I forget a little....then I remember again and it is all that much more beautiful than before.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Green Smoothie Revolution

What a 6 months it has been. The worst and best time of my life. A book radically changed my life. "Green For Life" by Victoria Boutenko. We have been doing green smoothies for about 4 months now and it is an awesome, amazing, radical change for the better. Also check out I am reading her book now and it is very similar to Green For Life and very good. This "tragedy" has ushered in so many miracles and awakenings. I am so grateful.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Seek and ye shall keep seeking

I was spending every hike looking for (naturally shed) antlers and not finding any. Then one day last week I laughed at myself, because I saw that while I had been talking about my realization that my seeking needed to be over and I need to be fully in my life, in the present moment...there I was seeking antlers on my hike, and not finding them, and therefore not "being" on my hike at all! So I dropped seeking. I just hiked...and practically tripped over the darned thing! So, there ya go! Stop seeking, be in the moment, and magic finds YOU!

An amazing book that is totally changing my life, heck, maybe even saving it, is Green For Life by Victoria Boutenko

Saturday, March 28, 2009


*My life partner, known here as The Dude,
had a stroke March 14th at the age of 39*
Now that the shock and sadness and poor me why us has passed
this is what I come out with.
We really don't get anything in life we CAN'T handle.
We have no control over the infinite possibilities and probabilities of what could happen in every now moment.
But we DO have control over HOW WE RESPOND. So we can let it all go.
Our only job in life is to respond well.

There is a fundraiser at:

Tuesday, March 10, 2009



Monday, March 2, 2009

S'pose Tuh

Ohhh boy, holy crap....well, today it is about yet another issue that I "intellectually" thought I "got" but I sure didn't GET it! I still had a whole bunch of "supposed to's" in my consciousness!! Handing over my power to whoever and whatever out of a subservience, UNWORTHINESS and a laying down my power to perceived "authority" and elders. I got to see myself in my very own true power center last week, and WOW now I know what it feels like, and how it really is all about ME. It's ALL about claiming my space in this world, doing MY show, not projecting myself onto every one else's show, no fault of theirs!! It has been MY choice, and now that I see the alternative, and am NOT AFRAID of my power anymore...holy cow it is pure and total liberation! And there is no question, no shame, no guilt, when I serve my truth for my own awakening into my full consciousness. At a TruSelf Seminar the other day, one woman mentioned she wished for FULL EXPRESSION...and wow that really hit me. It's not good or bad, positive or negative, it is just FULL EXPRESSION!!! Full expression is fun and easy if I LET IT be. Take my darned hands off the darned bank of the river and let myself FLOW!!! Darnit! I now TRUST MY process, trust MY truth as absolutely valid and powerful. We are the creators of our universe. We are one with all the power that created everything we see...and more importantly, an INFINITY that we can't see. YET. We have the power in our brains to expand beyond our wildest dreams. And I am JUST beginning to really know that, and accept it as my birth right. As a given. FACT. And so it is.

(fabulous book of the week, by the way, is "Think of an Elephant" by Paul as hell!!)