Monday, January 19, 2009

Cosmic Dump



Well well well. Where to start? I guess my thought for the day is...we are never finished. We are never "done". There are always layers to be uncovered. If I can wake up every day and know that I am a brand new baby...then I am on the right track. I have shed layers in the past few weeks that I didn't even know were there. Wait. I knew they were there. But they were *SOCLOSE* I felt as if they were not layers at all, not veils at all, but reality. They were CONTROL. JUDGMENT. PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS. I THOUGHT they kept me safe. Safe from what???? Safe from FULL CONSCIOUSNESS is what they kept me from. I thought it was "good" for my "survival". So who was holding on? EGO was. My ego kept me from letting go of this crap because letting go of this crap means WAKING UP. Really waking up. I thought I was awake! Ha! Awakening is the word, I guess. A continual state. The terror I created right before letting go of this stuff was amazing. Then the RELIEF when I realized it wasn't me actually in terror. It was the old crap fighting for dear life! Then followed by some stress over whether it was REALLY gone. Then more relief as I let it all go and focused ONLY on what I am replacing it with. Replacing RIGIDITY with FLUIDITY. THEN reading this incredible book, Evolve Your Brain by Joe Dispenza, and seeing how small I have been thinking!! Asking for these wimpy little things instead of nothing less than FULL CONSCIOUSNESS...then realizing full consciousness is always right here...it is ALLOWING it in that is an issue for me. So now my re-programming mantra is I AM ALLOWING FULL CONSCIOUSNESS Then there is a whole OTHER portion of unveiling going on.....jeez, this is quite a week, a giant cosmic dump, and then another cosmic download!! Ben sends an email about this male/female issue, and the fact that so many women are missing this whole masculine side of ourselves, therefore living in 1/2 mind, half way full, half potency, ...and CLICK..... shazam! All of a sudden this inner warrior woke up inside me after what seems like millennia and ROARED!!!! Like HELLO!!! You finally noticed the void!!! And so it is. Now I need a drink. Only kidding. Roar.

3 comments:

Laurie said...

ROOOOOAARRR!! Yeah Betsy!!!!!! Shazam!!

Judith said...

Wow Bets, you sound energetic/angsty! Could it be cabin fever? I sure felt that way for a while; will pretend it is spring again just as soon as this cold passes!

NighthawkNorth said...

I know just what you mean! The hard part is keeping that full consciousness open. Let us know how you keep it going! If anyone can, you can! You're always working hard on spirit. Congrats on another breakthrough. ROAR is RIGHT!! C