Seek and ye shall keep seeking

I was spending every hike looking for (naturally shed) antlers and not finding any. Then one day last week I laughed at myself, because I saw that while I had been talking about my realization that my seeking needed to be over and I need to be fully in my life, in the present moment...there I was seeking antlers on my hike, and not finding them, and therefore not "being" on my hike at all! So I dropped seeking. I just hiked...and practically tripped over the darned thing! So, there ya go! Stop seeking, be in the moment, and magic finds YOU!

An amazing book that is totally changing my life, heck, maybe even saving it, is Green For Life by Victoria Boutenko

STROKED

*My life partner, known here as The Dude,
had a stroke March 14th at the age of 39*
Now that the shock and sadness and poor me why us has passed
this is what I come out with.
We really don't get anything in life we CAN'T handle.
We have no control over the infinite possibilities and probabilities of what could happen in every now moment.
But we DO have control over HOW WE RESPOND. So we can let it all go.
LET IT ALL GO
Our only job in life is to respond well.


There is a fundraiser at:
http://www.lauritsnielsen.dk/andyandbetsy.php

EXPANSION

THERE ARE NO ENEMIES
YOU ARE SAFE
*EXPAND*
EXPAND BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
BREATHE

S'pose Tuh

Ohhh boy, holy crap....well, today it is about yet another issue that I "intellectually" thought I "got" but I sure didn't GET it! I still had a whole bunch of "supposed to's" in my consciousness!! Handing over my power to whoever and whatever out of a subservience, UNWORTHINESS and a laying down my power to perceived "authority" and elders. I got to see myself in my very own true power center last week, and WOW now I know what it feels like, and how it really is all about ME. It's ALL about claiming my space in this world, doing MY show, not projecting myself onto every one else's show, no fault of theirs!! It has been MY choice, and now that I see the alternative, and am NOT AFRAID of my power anymore...holy cow it is pure and total liberation! And there is no question, no shame, no guilt, when I serve my truth for my own awakening into my full consciousness. At a TruSelf Seminar the other day, one woman mentioned she wished for FULL EXPRESSION...and wow that really hit me. It's not good or bad, positive or negative, it is just FULL EXPRESSION!!! Full expression is fun and easy if I LET IT be. Take my darned hands off the darned bank of the river and let myself FLOW!!! Darnit! I now TRUST MY process, trust MY truth as absolutely valid and powerful. We are the creators of our universe. We are one with all the power that created everything we see...and more importantly, an INFINITY that we can't see. YET. We have the power in our brains to expand beyond our wildest dreams. And I am JUST beginning to really know that, and accept it as my birth right. As a given. FACT. And so it is.

(fabulous book of the week, by the way, is "Think of an Elephant" by Paul Bailey...cool as hell!!)

Choppy Waters Run Deep, too!

And I thought I was riled up in the LAST entry?!?! I started to read Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown. I knew it was for me when a friend mentioned the title and I got goosebumps from toe to head. Well, to say the least, it is potent. The cover needs a warning label! :) I started to read it too fast and the last few weeks were an inferno of my old ego crap rising up and trying to fight for dear life. The book is about the inner judge, inner critic, that we start creating internally as a baby in order to survive on the planet and in our family dynamic. Then we hold onto it into adulthood even though it is obsolete. The minute I started to read this, I saw so clearly this insanity inside me. This voice that "keeps me safe" and tells me exactly what to do and not to, what to think and not to, what to learn and not to. And it is no longer doing me any good, to say the least. I went into sensory overload, however, and started to lose it a bit. Thank heavens for the Dude, and open hearted friends!! This judge felt so powerful! And all of a sudden I am FINALLY realizing, that IT is not powerful...it is MY CHOICE to give it power or not. WELL!! SHAZAM again! Then luckily Carole my dear friend sent me the book Path of Empowerment by Barbara Marciniak, just at the right time!! And I could read that and it is like a warm hug, a reward for my work, an oasis of beauty and wisdom. So, as of last night, I am only reading ONE chapter of Soul Without Shame per week. Last night was the night, and yes, stuff is triggered, but it is no longer a giant fire breathing dragon. It is now a little lizard and when it rears its silly little head I can see it for what it is. There is a TruSelf Seminar this weekend and I feel like I am a whole new human compared to the last time I went. I am so grateful for this path, so grateful for my mom croaking and putting me on it. And SOOOOO grateful for my own perseverance in finding out where the real power comes from. WITHIN. And so it is.

BUSTED!

I've been wondering why this bird feeder is always empty lately!!!

Cosmic Dump

Well well well. Where to start? I guess my thought for the day is...we are never finished. We are never "done". There are always layers to be uncovered. If I can wake up every day and know that I am a brand new baby...then I am on the right track. I have shed layers in the past few weeks that I didn't even know were there. Wait. I knew they were there. But they were *SOCLOSE* I felt as if they were not layers at all, not veils at all, but reality. They were CONTROL. JUDGMENT. PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS. I THOUGHT they kept me safe. Safe from what???? Safe from FULL CONSCIOUSNESS is what they kept me from. I thought it was "good" for my "survival". So who was holding on? EGO was. My ego kept me from letting go of this crap because letting go of this crap means WAKING UP. Really waking up. I thought I was awake! Ha! Awakening is the word, I guess. A continual state. The terror I created right before letting go of this stuff was amazing. Then the RELIEF when I realized it wasn't me actually in terror. It was the old crap fighting for dear life! Then followed by some stress over whether it was REALLY gone. Then more relief as I let it all go and focused ONLY on what I am replacing it with. Replacing RIGIDITY with FLUIDITY. THEN reading this incredible book, Evolve Your Brain by Joe Dispenza, and seeing how small I have been thinking!! Asking for these wimpy little things instead of nothing less than FULL CONSCIOUSNESS...then realizing full consciousness is always right here...it is ALLOWING it in that is an issue for me. So now my re-programming mantra is I AM ALLOWING FULL CONSCIOUSNESS Then there is a whole OTHER portion of unveiling going on.....jeez, this is quite a week, a giant cosmic dump, and then another cosmic download!! Ben sends an email about this male/female issue, and the fact that so many women are missing this whole masculine side of ourselves, therefore living in 1/2 mind, half way full, half potency, ...and CLICK..... shazam! All of a sudden this inner warrior woke up inside me after what seems like millennia and ROARED!!!! Like HELLO!!! You finally noticed the void!!! And so it is. Now I need a drink. Only kidding. Roar.